I read (a while ago) somewhere that no job under anyone else is ever secure. Your pay relies on someone who takes a good chunk of it for themselves, they can fire you when ever they choose for rules that they set. The only thing that you can possibly count on is that you get paid on the date that they tell you, and even then I know quite a few people who's bosses often push back their paychecks for various reason. I have no idea who decided that was secure.
I turned down a recent offer from a friend for a few reasons, I have three commitments that I stick to honorably. First, is haunt which I have been doing for a few years now. I am in LOVE with haunt it is something I plan to do until I physically can't anymore. Second, is renfaire which I only started doing last year but I adore it and it actually goes hand in hand with haunt. Thirdly, is necropolis where I take the pictures that you often see on my tumblr. Necropolis is like life to me, the people there are more than just some kids they are family, they are comfort. All of these are based around orange county, which I am trying my hardest to live in.
One of my reasons for not taking that job was that it is in Redlands, I live near Riverside now so that is only a 30 mile difference however with those commitments that I already have that adds a 20 mile extra. Any money I would be making would go to driving around, I wouldn't be able to save anything up.
Secondly, if I dealed with the problem above, I would probably over sleep often and make mistakes forcing me to quit or get fired. My friend who helped me get the job would be disappointed and because she is the hiring manager, her rep may go down because of it. I wouldn't put someone through that, especially if I knew that there was a chance I would have to quit with in a 6 month period.
Third, I know how easily I get depressed and whatnot. Lately I have been struggling greatly with suicidal thoughts, I refuse to push myself over the edge. Taking another job that I would get stuck in and that could possibly suck out my will to live because I have to keep spending all of my money to get there. And it sounds like I am being dramatic but truly I'm not.
The biggest reason that I don't care about having a normal job, is because I would rather live my life on as many of my terms as I can. I want to be able to sit and tell my brothers children all the wild and crazy times I had doing weird little jobs. I don't fit into any normal dichotomy, never really have. I would prefer to get my money thru small ways that I over see than to allow my pay to be monitored by someone else. There are small fluctuations in my income stream but mostly I always find of way of eating. It is completely pointless to have an average life in which I will hate over a life that I choose my paths and I end up loving and not regretting. That's really the end all be all in my mind. :/
